Pro Mat Surfing???

We may as well play out this week's oddly entertaining "Pro Surfing Thread" to it's logical conclusion...

Questions for you to ponder over the weekend...answer if you feel up to it:

Do you aspire to be a Professional Mat Rider?

If not, why not?

If so, do you train while at the beach?

Do you cross-train?

How many 4GF mats do you own, and how much cooler would your life be if you ordered a couple more?

What kind of diet regimen do you adhere to?

Does "adult liquid refreshment" figure into your daily caloric intake?

Do you wear an operational Go Pro camera on your head 24/7?

What are your financial goals?

What are your, uh, carnal expectations of being a Professional Mat Rider?

And finally...does the fact that there's currently no serviceable Professional Mat Rider business paradigm, and probably never will be, discourage you?